


Kiss (Me) & Make Up

by hinaya



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: EVERYONE'S HEART HURTS, M/M, akaashi cries a lot, maybe angst?, not really sure lmao, volleyball bbies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 08:59:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5621086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hinaya/pseuds/hinaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokuto was ignoring him, and Akaashi just wanted to see his old self again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss (Me) & Make Up

**Author's Note:**

> whoops im trash. tbh i dont even like this fic that much and it may or may not be based on a real life event where the ending didn't happen but o well???

Bokuto-san was always next to him. Whether it was literally or mentally, he had always been there, cheering for Akaashi or clapping him on the back in a way that left him winded but secretly pleased that he was giving Akaashi so much attention, so it was weird to see Bokuto on the other side of the court, praising the other teammates after a practise match between the team.

Akaashi stood, glancing up at Bokuto every now and then to see if he was making his way over to him, or even looking at him. But he wasn’t. Don’t get him wrong, the distance was kind of relieving. After the whole week of Bokuto this, Bokuto that, it was a much needed break. But the question still lingered on his tongue, threatening to spill out, “Why?”

Konoha and Kumi seemed to have sensed the storm brooding over Akaashi since they skipped over to him, shouting out compliments and bouncing on the balls of their feet. “You too guys,” was all Akaashi could manage and they left him alone after that.

Akaashi made his way over to the managers, thanking them when Kaori handed him a water bottle. “Are you all right, ‘Kaashi? You look tense.” She said with a slight smile.

“I’m fine. Just tired, that’s all. Thank you for your concerns though.” He bowed slightly, turning around and bringing the water bottle up his mouth.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Bokuto talking animatedly with Washio and Onaga and his stomach tightened. Was he ignoring him? He seemed quiet during the match, and now with him on the other side of the court, it felt like the other side of the world.

He casually walked over to the group calling out out to Bokuto and he raised his hand up to give him a high five. His teammates watched on as Bokuto gave him a quick look and turned his back on him, and suddenly the world was spinning and crashing down onto him.

With a choked gasp he dropped the drink bottle, water spilling from the lip and onto the floor, and he quickly walked out of the gym. There were all eyes on him, including Bokuto’s but he didn’t care, Bokuto was ignoring him and that hurt more than any stare or comment would.

The stars shone down onto him and he stood still, almost laughing at how pathetic he was being, knees trembling and heart sinking lower and lower into his stomach with each minute that ticked by that Bokuto wasn’t a part of. Wasn’t it just yesterday that he was right beside him, making owl noises in return to a barn owl that had hooted from a distance away while Akaashi told him to shut up but secretly thought it was cute?

There were footsteps behind him and the team was walking out, giggling at an impression of their principle that Bokuto was making. Akaashi clenched his fists, because how dare Bokuto joke and have a good time around him, when he wasn’t okay.

Konoha clapped Akaashi on the back, “are you alright?” He whispered, staring into his eyes. Konoha always knew how to cheer people up, much like the rest of the team. It was a package deal when dealing with Bokuto and his crazy mood swings. Maybe this was just a mood swing and he’d be out of it by tomorrow, he thought hopelessly.

Akaashi nodded stiffly, jerking his head as if he was a puppet and someone was tugging at the strings. “Do you know what’s happening with Bokuto?” He said calmly, hoping his face was devoid of emotion or any sign saying that he actually cared, because he didn’t. Bokuto could move to fucking Iceland and he wouldn’t care.

“He’s ignoring you, but no one can figure out why. If it makes you feel better, everyone is curious.” He murmured, narrow eyes glancing at Bokuto. Akaashi felt his own eyes drift towards him and there was a dull ache in his chest.

“Thanks, Konoha.” Akaashi said, smiling slightly. “I’m sure whatever this is will be gone by tomorrow morning.”

Konoha gave him an uneasy smile, nodding. “We are here for you.”

“Konoha! Akaashi! Hurry up and change before we lock the doors!” Sarukui yelled, waving his hands, illuminated by a flickering light above him. Bokuto-san was behind him, a dark shadow that leant against the wall, his face half hidden by Sarukui. His eyes turned to Akaashi and the setter blushed, eyes dropping to the ground and mortified that Bokuto had caught him staring.

Konoha pulled him along, and Akaashi was grateful for the support. Without him Akaashi would have burst into tears and sunk to the floor on the spot, but he reminded himself to stay calm, ignoring Bokuto’s golden eyes on him as he trudged up the stairs, past Bokuto and into the change rooms.

…

Tomorrow was no better.

He sent Bokuto a quick text in the morning, ignoring the churn in his stomach, and proceeded to walk to school, turning the phone on and off again for a message back, but there was none.

By lunch time the message had become clear: Bokuto was indeed ignoring him and Akaashi was indeed ready to burst into tears at any moment.

He stood in the line for the cafeteria next to Konoha and Komi, ignoring their mindless chatter. “Kiyoko is definitely the cutest, you baka!” “Hinata though!”

There was a flash of grey and black, Bokuto, and he felt his heart leap in his throat as there he stood, in front of Akaashi with his arms folded and a serious look on his face. Bokuto was never serious. Something had to have been wrong.

The pair had quietened behind Akaashi, watching Bokuto, gulping as if there was about to be a showdown. With the tension in the air and the look on his face, there might have well been.

“I need to talk to you.”

Akaashi looked at Bokuto with disbelief. All that ignoring and hurting because Bokuto wanted to say something? “I’m sorry but I’d rather not lose my place in line.” He said in a bored tone, gripping his left hand in his right.

“Konoha can buy your lunch. This is important.” Bokuto fidgeted on the spot, and it was mind-blowing how he had lasted this long without smiling or cracking a joke. Even in his sleep he was grinning.

Akaashi glared at him, ready to snap and tell Bokuto how much he needed him; how much this hurt and how much he wanted to apologise for anything he did, but he didn’t. Instead he mustered up his coldest voice and said, “I’d rather not talk to anyone who treats me as if I’m invisible, thanks.”

He turned back in the line, not missing the grunt of frustration from Bokuto and the “…woah,” from Komi. His eyes were glistening and don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, he chanted, not wanting to bring his blazer’s sleeve up and wipe his eyes in front of Bokuto who was still standing there.

There was a tug on his arm and a “hey!” as Bokuto dragged him out of the cafeteria and into the courtyard. “What is your problem?” Akaashi snapped, yanking his arm away from Bokuto.

“I need to talk to you,” Bokuto growled, but it didn’t have any angry implications behind the tone of voice.

“Well I don’t want to talk to you.” Bokuto stood under the blazing sun, and Akaashi could make out every stupid imperfection on his face that was somehow perfect to him. His cheeks were tinged with pink, and a bead of sweat was rolling down his temple and Akaashi wanted to kiss him but he held his ground, furious at Bokuto and furious at his feelings.

“You’ve made me feel like shit for the past day for no apparent reason, and now you want to talk to me? Like you expect me to fucking be fine with it and go along with whatever bullshit excuse you’ll throw at me?” Akaashi said, his voice rising at each word that left his mouth. Bokuto was staring at him, but his eyes had gone soft, as if he felt sorry for Akaashi.

“Just hear me out – “ He tried, tongue darting out to lick his lips in a nervous manner. Under any other circumstances Akaashi would’ve found the quirk endearing but now it just made him even angrier, because fuck Bokuto and fuck this bullshit.

“No,” Akaashi cut him off. “Hear me out. Don’t talk to me, don’t look at me, and don’t ask me to toss for you because it’s not going to happen ever again. Do you get that?”

He didn’t wait for an answer, instead stalking off into the nearest empty bathroom where he locked the toilet stall’s door and proceeded to cry, tucking his legs up to his chest and sobbing. Akaashi didn’t mean a single thing that he had said but the hurt look that flashed in Bokuto’s eyes momentarily was worth it.

“I love him.” He whispered, dropping his head onto his knees and praying that the bell signalling the end of lunch would ring.

…

After school he had walked to the vending machines with friends, pushing any thoughts about Bokuto to the back of his head. He laughed politely at a joke that someone had made, tilting his head back and smiling with ease.

Pushing in a couple of coins, an orange juice dropped with a thud, and he pulled it out, staring out onto the field where he thought he had seen a flash of grey and black hair. Shaking his head, he turned back to the group, ignoring the queasy feeling in his stomach.

…

“Bokut- Bokuto…” Akaashi was murmuring in the darkness, limbs tangled in his sheets and breaths heavy and drawn out. His eyes were lidded, and he closed them, picturing Bokuto and his body the way he leapt when he went to spike the ball, and the sliver of skin that could be seen when his shirt rode up on rare occasions.

It wasn’t fair, he was supposed to be hating Bokuto and his stupid gorgeous face, and thighs and the way his laugh sounded so ethereal and heavenly and home, instead of doing what he was doing. It was embarrassing and the thought how can I face him now? Swirled around his head but he wasn’t focusing on that, only on him and his release.

With a sudden cry, he came on his sheets and pyjama pants, and guilt surfaced in his stomach only to be pushed back down by want. Want for Bokuto, and want for him to stop ignoring him and want for Akaashi to take back everything he said at lunch earlier.

There was a buzzing next to him and he stole a glimpse at his phone seeing the name Bokuto come up and he flushed a dark red, hands trembling as he wiped them on his sheets and gingerly picking up the phone. It took a second to decide whether or not to pick up the call and a second more to regret his finger sliding the accept call across.

“Akaashi?” His voice rang through the darkness, and mist clouded over Akaashi’s eyes.

“Bokuto.” He sounded breathless and he prayed Bokuto wouldn’t catch on to what he had just been doing. “What do you want?”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me for being a child, I’m so sorry.” Bokuto sobbed through the phone and Akaashi held the phone back from his ear a bit.

He was silent for a second, because why was Bokuto apologising and why did he call him at – he glanced over at his alarm clock – 12.06am and mostly he wanted to cry with Bokuto but he kept his cool.

“What do you want, Bokuto?” Akaashi’s voice came out harsher than he expected and there was a sudden sharp intake of breaths.

“…you.” Came the soft reply, almost soft enough for Akaashi to miss but he didn’t. He was quiet for a moment until Bokuto spoke up again, “please forgive me, Akaashi. I treated you like shit over such a petty reason and I couldn’t bare it anymore when you got so mad and-“

“I don’t like you,” Akaashi interjected.

“Wha?”

“I don’t like you because you made me feel all of these things and I’m afraid if I forgive you, you will hurt me again.” Akaashi whispered in the darkness, hands shaking like a leaf in a small breeze.

The other side was still, as if thinking and processing what Akaashi just said, which was weird because Bokuto didn’t think or process. Akaashi half felt like he had hung up but there were the faintest noises of Bokuto breathing and fidgeting.

“I won’t.” Came the reply and Akaashi exhaled after holding in a breath he didn’t realise he was holding. “I-“ He paused, and took in a deep breath. “I like you. I only just um realised to be honest. And I couldn’t control my feelings so I thought that if I ignored you then they’d go away but you got so mad and I hurt you, oh god I hurt you! That was the last thing I wanted to do.” Bokuto was crying now, Akaashi could tell by the way he sniffled and pretended to hide his sobs with small coughs.

“Wait… You like me?” Akaashi narrowed his eyes, looking suspiciously at the caller id as if this was some elaborate prank that Bokuto had worked on with Kuroo and people were going to jump out from under his bed at any given moment and shout SURPRISE!

There was a lot of shifting on Bokuto’s side and Akaashi liked to imagine that it was because he was nervous and not because he was getting comfortable or anything. “Um… yeah? Oh god, it’s okay if you don’t like me back, I honestly didn’t expect you to and when you said don’t talk to me I kind of honestly died and is it too late to apologise? I’m surprised you even picked up at all,” he laughed awkwardly, but it was a wobbly noise that made Akaashi’s heart hurt.

“Bokuto-san…”

“Yeah?”

Akaashi let out a deep breath, running a calloused hand through his hair. “I have to go now. Goodbye. Thank you for the apology.” He hung up, looking at the screen with blurry eyes. The letters and words were going hazy as they filled up with tears and he swore, dropping the phone and rolling over into foetal position.

…

The next morning Akaashi came to practise late. The team were already warming up, doing stretches on the floor in a circle and Akaashi quietly changed and sat next to Konoha and Sarukui. “Hey,” They both smiled at him and he nodded his head in lieu of a greeting.

Bokuto wouldn’t look at him. Well he wasn’t expecting him to, but somehow this just made things more tense. If they were to go to the training camp in a few days then Bokuto and him had to have made up by then, and begrudgingly Akaashi knew he had to do something.

He stood up, tapping Bokuto on the shoulder who looked up at him with heavy eyes. There were bags underneath them and Akaashi knew that he was at fault for his gaunt face and tired smile. “I would like to have a word with you,” Akaashi said.

“Uh um, be right back team! Me and the vice-captain are going to have an uh captain talk! Just the captains!” He shouted, giving them a thumbs up. “Keep doing your stretches, Konoha take over will you?”

“Uh sure boss…” Konoha whispered, scratching his head as he led the team’s stretches.

“It’s vice-captain and I…” Akaashi whispered but followed Bokuto to the end of the gym.

Bokuto stopped and turned to Akaashi, his golden eyes following him like a hawk. Or, rather, an owl. “Is this about the team? I swear I’ll go back to normal! I wouldn’t wanna jeopardise our matches, right?” He said quickly and Akaashi looked at him with wary eyes.

“Uh, no, that’s not what I wanted to talk about,” he took a breath in, almost laughing at the confused expression on his face. “What you said yesterday… Uh… Same…”

“What?”

Akaashi laced his fingers together, knees trembling and heart beating rapidly. “I mean… I feel the same way. And I probably made you upset, which I’m sorry about too…” He trailed off, blushing red at his shitty confession and the way Bokuto’s face lit up with a wide grin.

“Really? You mean it?” Bokuto yelled, and Akaashi felt the stares of his teammates on them. “Wait, you aren’t just saying that because you feel sorry for me right?”

“No. Of course not, why would I do that? I like you. I probably figured it out a couple days ago but the feelings have always been there.” He said, hoping his face was neutral and not giving away any signs saying I am really happy right now.

Bokuto grinned even wider, jumping into the air and shouting out, “Fucking yes! Akaashi is my hot date! Suck on my fucking ass!”

“Be quiet you idiot.” Akaashi hissed, looking behind him to see if the team had heard but they were still stretching, Konoha in a head lock with Kumi giving him a noogie.

“Sorry Akaashi… wait can I call you Keiji? Is Keiji allowed?”

Akaashi looked at the floor mumbling, “Keiji is allowed.”

“I’m gonna kiss you after practise, is that allowed too?” Bokuto said excitedly, grabbing his hand.

“Personal space please. And it’s a maybe.”

Bokuto held on to his hands but stepped back, “Hear that, guys? It’s a maybe!” He roared, to which the team roared back.

“They don’t even know what the maybe is for,” Akaashi mumbled but there was a tiny smile on his face as they walked back to the team.

**Author's Note:**

> WAS AKAASHI TOO MUCH OF A PATHETIC AND CRYING MESS IM SORRY headcanon that akaashi cries a lot lmao lets roll with that


End file.
